By Your Side
by no1one77
Summary: Reposting my old story - By Your Side. The Reagan family deals with the consequences following Jamie's abduction.


**Chapter 1: Chapter 1**

**Author's word:**

I was asked to do this story some time ago and it took me quite some time to decide whether I wanted to/should write it or not. Okay, honestly, I knew I wanted to write this story from the beginning but some of you begged me not to… And then it also took me quite some time to think it through, especially how I wanted to approach this story. Plus I wanted to see where I can go with this story first for myself and decide about the possible ending etc.

The good news here is, the story is already written, which is always a good thing!

My personal goal in this story is to depict a psychological state of someone who has been a victim of a traumatic event and is trying to get back to his or her life before the incident. Unfortunately, some scars can be too deep to be healed completely, therefore in this story I intend to depict the pain, the fear and other emotions hopefully in their complexity.

**WARNING: RAPE as a topic**, however **the rape itself won't be described in any detail**, it will just serve as a topic for the purpose of this narrative.** If not interested, please, do not read!**

As always: Not a native speaker, therefore I'm sorry for all the language-wise errors. Please, feel free to PM me with any language-wise suggestions. Thank you!

*****BB*****

**Day 1**

The NYPD commissioner Frank Reagan was pensively looking out of the window of his black SUV while he was on his way to the New York Presbyterian Hospital. He didn't really pay attention to the ride or to anything that was happening around him.

"Dad, we found him!" Were his oldest son's words. Words he was desperate to hear ever since his youngest son Jamie went missing twenty-one days, three hours and approximately twenty minutes ago.

"Is he okay, Danny?" The dreaded father wanted to know immediately, clutching nervously the phone he was holding in his hand.

"I'm afraid he is not doing well, dad!" The young detective informed his father as gently as he could, although, he knew the commissioner needed to be prepared, for his youngest son reminded now rather a broken toy.

"Danny, can I talk to your brother briefly?" The commissioner inquired, being desperate to hear Jamie's voice and tell him that everything will be okay.

"I'm afraid that's not possible at the moment, dad," Danny sighed heavily. "He is being treated by the medics as we speak, besides I'm not sure if he is able to talk anyway." The detective told his father the truth.

"What do you mean, Danny?" The commissioner asked nervously, fearing what he might hear, tears flooding his eyes.

"Dad, there was blood everywhere when we found him," Danny admitted weakly to his father.

"Oh, God!" Escaped Frank's lips.

"Dad, the medics are doing everything they can...," the young detective uttered with a shaking voice.

The commissioner just swallowed hard. Oh, God, let him be okay! He kept praying.

"What about his abductor, Danny?" He wanted to know.

"We got him, dad. Renzulli is bringing him to the precinct," Danny informed his father briefly.

"Good," the commissioner replied. "Danny, do me a favor and stay with your brother until I get to you!" The dreaded father pleaded his eldest.

"You got it, dad!" Danny replied.

And that was why the commissioner was now on his way to the New York Presbyterian hospital.

*****BB*****

Frank glimpsed Jamie when he finally arrived at the hospital after the nerve-wracking ride through the overcrowded streets of New York City. Judging by the number of doctors and nurses who were attending to his son the commissioner could guess the severity of Jamie's injuries. From the place he was standing he couldn't see much of Jamie, but when one of the nurses moved away to get the scissors so she should cut Jamie's shirt he spotted Jamie's bruised face for a brief moment.

"Do we know the patient's name?" One of the doctors asked, looking questioningly at the paramedics who brought Jamie in.

"His name is Jamie, Jamie Reagan. He is an NYPD officer." The commissioner could hear his oldest son's voice.

"Alright," the doctor mumbled before he turned his attention back to his patient. "Officer Reagan, can you hear me?" He questioned while he was checking Jamie's eyes' reflexes with a flashlight. But there was no response from Jamie.

"Okay, his pupils are reacting," the doctor uttered towards the other doctors and nurses who were trying to save Jamie's life.

"His heart is racing like crazy, we need to give him something or he's going to crash!" The other doctor cried looking nervously at the numbers which were showing Jamie's heart rate. It wasn't long after the room was filled with the alarming sound of the heart monitor.

"He is crashing!" One of the nurses shouted.

"Alright, everybody just step aside!" One of the doctors instructed his colleagues who were attending to Jamie. "Charging two hundred. Clear!"

"No reaction." The nurse who was standing next to the heart monitor informed the leading doctor.

"Detective, you really need to step aside!" A young looking nurses told Danny as she was trying to lead the grudging detective out of the room.

The commissioner saw it all from the hallway, unable to move paralyzed with the fear for his youngest child. He could hear the blood rushing through his ears. His hands were sweaty and his throat dry.

Danny tried to argue with the nurse, but she wasn't willing to compromise with him and therefore he had no other option but to leave the room eventually. Helplessly he turned around and he saw his father. "Dad," he uttered weakly, looking sadly at his father, tears glittering in his eyes.

"Danny," the commissioner replied with a deep sorrow in his voice.

*****BB*****

"I'm not going to lie to you, it's not good," the leading surgeon who was assigned to Jamie's case informed the dreaded Reagan family members who were nervously awaiting any news about Jamie.

"I must say, I have seen a lot during my praxis, but the amount and the nature of injuries Jamie has sustained…," the doctor sighed heavily, making a pause before he continued.

"Primarily, his lower jaw and his right arm are broken. He has got dislocated left shoulder, few broken ribs, he suffered internal bleeding which we, fortunately, were able to repair. He has got a sprained ankle, his brain is swollen and he has got countless of cuts, bruises, and burns all over his body," the doctor counted out. "He will also need another surgery to fix his teeth later on, but we will talk about it when we cross that bridge. And above all, Jamie is fighting severe pneumonia and infection." The doctor informed the Reagans.

The commissioner just closed his eyes. He was desperately trying to swallow the tears which were now coming into his eyes. He knew he had to pull it together for his son and his family's sake. He just wasn't sure how he was going to do that.

"Commissioner, if you could, there is something else I need to discuss with you in private," the doctor addressed Frank.

"Of course," the commissioner replied following the doctor out of the waiting room, leaving the rest of the family behind.

"Commissioner, I'm so sorry to tell you this, but I'm afraid your son was not only tortured but also abused sexually," the doctor announced to Frank Reagan as gently as he could, but he could still see the horror clearly written in commissioner's face once he realized what the doctor just told him.

"We gave your son prophylaxis for STDs and had his blood withdrawn for testing," he informed the commissioner. "I'm afraid Jamie will need you now as he never did before. I'm not going to lie to you, your son has got a long way towards recovery and it's a question to which extent he will be able to recuperate," the doctor announced to the stunned father.

*****BB*****

Frank was sitting next to his son's hospital bed, holding Jamie's hand in his. His eyes were filled with tears as he kept watching his son's chest rising and falling. There were various machines all over the room which were making sure Jamie was alive. The room was completely silent except for the disturbing sound of the heart monitor and the ventilator which helped Jamie to breathe. The commissioner was silently praying as he kept watching his youngest son.

"Jamie, please, just keep fighting, my boy!" He begged his child, gently brushing Jamie's cheek.

He once again cast an anxious look at the heart monitor feeling a little bit relieved when he saw his son's heartbeat was stable, however he still wasn't able to get out of his head Jamie coding in the ER earlier that day, something he will never be able to get out of his head completely.

*****BB*****

**Day 3**

When Jamie opened his eyes for the first time, he couldn't see much for his eyes were severely swollen. He noticed his dad who was sitting next to him, carefully holding his hand. And then, there was the pain. It seemed as if everything hurt. His head, his chest, his abdomen, his legs...even breathing seemed painful. He also felt feverish, moreover, he didn't understand what was going on.

"Jamie?" The commissioner addressed his son when he saw Jamie was awake.

Jamie wanted to say something, but he couldn't thanks to the ventilator which was helping him to breathe, plus even if he wasn't on the ventilator he wouldn't be able to speak anyway for his broken jaw was fixed with plates and wires.

A tear escaped from the corner of Jamie's eye.

"It's okay, son," Frank assured his boy, as he gently stroked Jamie's hair. "It's okay. You're safe now! I'm here with you and I won't let anyone hurt you ever again!" The commissioner assured his youngest, but Jamie wasn't paying attention anymore for he was drifting off again.

*****BB*****

**Day 4**

The second time Jamie has opened his eyes, he once again tried to talk to his dad, but that wasn't really possible for, although the ventilator has been removed, his broken jaw was still fixed with wires and plates making it impossible for Jamie to open his mouth. The only words Frank could make out of the sounds his son made were "dad" and "hurts". Frank squeezed his son's hand carefully, wordlessly assuring his child that everything will be alright, although he knew they could only hope.

*****BB*****

"So, how is he?" Danny asked his father eagerly once he walked into his brother's room.

Jamie was now sleeping in his hospital bed.

"Well," the commissioner uttered as he took a deep breath. "As can be expected," he sight heavily, giving his oldest son a troubled look.

Danny just rubbed his forehead tiredly. "Dad, do you think he will be alright?" He asked seriously, looking questioningly at his father.

"I wish he will," Frank replied, giving his oldest son a sad smile, but the young detective could see the tears which were glittering in his father's eyes.

"I keep questioning if there was something else I could have done so we would found him sooner," Danny uttered in a low voice as he sat down on an empty chair which was standing on the other side of Jamie's bed.

"Danny, what happened is not your fault!" The commissioner stressed, wiping his watery eyes with a handkerchief he pulled out of his pocket.

"I know, dad. I just wish there was something... something I could have done to find him sooner...," Danny groundout.

"Son, you did everything you could and I will be forever grateful to you that you found your brother at all!" The commissioner stated as he gave Danny a thankful look.

*****BB*****

**Day 5**

"Hey, kid, it's me," Danny whispered quietly towards Jamie as he sat down on the chair next to his brother's bed.

Jamie's swollen eyes fluttered when he heard Danny's voice. He was tired and loopy and even open his eyes seemed difficult, but he had to give it a try. He wanted to call his brother's name, but only some raucous noise which was barely understandable came out of his mouth. He felt frustrated, scared, but mainly he felt ashamed. Ashamed for what happened to him, for what he allowed to happen to him. He felt like he was dirty, used. These were the thoughts which were constantly haunting him.

"It's okay, kid!" Danny assured his kid brother when he saw the pain in his brother's eyes. "We got that monster and he is gonna pay for what he had done to you!" Danny told Jamie stroking his hair.

Jamie looked at his older brother with an urgency in his eyes trying to tell him something, but the only thing Danny could understand was "home".

"Kid, you shouldn't try to speak, you need to let your jaw heal!" Danny emphasized to his younger brother. "Home? You want to go home?" He repeated, not sure whether he understood his brother correctly.

Jamie just nodded his head.

"Yeah, kid, I get that, but I'm afraid you will have to wait quite sometime before you can go home because, frankly, you remind rather a broken toy right now," Danny told Jamie as he gave his baby brother a sympathetic look.

Jamie's eyes flooded with tears. Although he was in a great amount of pain, he wanted to go home to his dad and grandpa where he felt safe and protected.

"Come on, kid, you won't be here alone! Dad practically doesn't leave your side and the rest of us will visit you daily. Plus Linda will be here in case you need anything." Danny reminded to his brother.

But Danny's words did not seem to ease Jamie much.

It was in this moment when the commissioner walked into the room and found his sons as he left them a few minutes earlier, although this time Jamie was pretty much awake.

"I see you're awake," the commissioner uttered towards his youngest giving him a loving smile, but he frowned immediately when he saw Jamie's watery eyes.

"What is it, Jamie?" He wanted to know concerned, taking Jamie's hand into his as he stroked his son's hair with his other hand.

"He wants to go home," Danny informed their father, giving Jamie a sympathetic look.

The commissioner just took a deep breath not letting his sight of Jamie.

"Son, I understand you want to go home, I do, but right now you are in no condition which would allow you to do so. I'm afraid you will have to wait sometime before you can go home," the commissioner repeated what Danny was previously trying to explain to Jamie. It was tearing him apart to see his youngest child in a state like this. He leaned over and planted Jamie's head a soft kiss, wishing there was something he could have done to take his son's pain away.

*****BB*****

**Day 6**

Erin kept clutching Jamie's hand as she was keeping a bedside vigil next to her brother's hospital bed while Jamie was sleeping.

He looked horrible. She thought.

"Hey, sis," Danny uttered in a low voice as he walked into the room. He leaned over Erin and planted her head a soft kiss.

"Hi, Danny," Erin replied, not letting her sight of Jamie. "How can someone be so cruel? How could someone hurt him like this?" She asked as tears flooded her eyes.

"He is safe now, sis!" Danny reminded his sister as he embraced her around her shoulders.

"I know, Danny, but look at him, he looks horrible!" She sobbed, gently rubbing Jamie's cheek.

"He is strong, Erin, he will pull through!" Danny tried to assure his sister, although he himself couldn't escape the constant fear he felt ever since Jamie was abducted.

"Erin, you have to stay optimistic for Jamie!" Danny stressed to Erin. "He will need all of us now and we have to be here for him!"

*****BB*****

**Day 7**

"Francis, you need to go home and get some rest!" The former commissioner told his son when he saw Francis sitting tiredly in a chair next to Jamie's hospital bed.

"I can't leave him, pops," the commissioner protested with a shaking voice, looking worriedly at his youngest child who was sleeping in his hospital bed. Jamie was sleeping a lot these days because thanks to the nature and severity of his injuries the doctors decided to keep him as comfortable as they could by drugging him with some strong pain medication. This, of course, led to Jamie being constantly asleep or groggy.

"You don't have to worry, Francis, he won't be alone. I will stay with him!" Henry stressed to his son.

The commissioner knew his father meant well but he was still hesitant to leave his child because he needed to be there for his son when he wakes up.

"Thanks, pops, but I need to be here for him," the commissioner told to his father, letting him know that he had no intention to go anywhere.

"Francis, I know how difficult this must be for you, but I cannot stress enough, you are not one to blame! There is nothing you could have possibly done to prevent this from happening! You're right, Jamie is going to need you when he wakes up and I'm pretty sure he will need you for a long time before he will be able to take care of himself again, but you won't be much of a help to him if you collapse!" The former commissioner emphasized to his son. "He is asleep now, so why don't you go home and get some rest too?" Henry suggested carefully. "If Jamie wakes up, I will be here with him and I will tell him you will be back soon. What do you say?"

Knowing his father was right, Frank Reagan had no other option but to agree. "Alright, pops, you win, but if there is any change you call me straight away!" He instructed his father.

"Of course, I will," Henry promised.

The commissioner then stood up, bent over Jamie's hospital bed and planted his son's head a sweet kiss.

"I will be right back!" He whispered into Jamie's ear.

He then walked over to his father and gave his shoulder a tight squeeze.

"Thank you, pops!" He uttered before he left the room.

"He will get through this, Francis!" Henry called after his son. Jamie had to get through this because honestly, Henry wasn't sure what would happen with their family if he didn't. He gave his grandson a concerned glance, taking Jamie's hand into his giving it a tight squeeze.

"You need to get better, kiddo, we are counting on you!" He uttered as he stroked his grandson's hair with his free hand.

*****BB*****

**Day 14**

Jamie has spent two weeks in the ICU before he was shifted to a private room. His father was constantly by his side, holding a bedside vigil next to Jamie's hospital bed. It was also only after he was shifted to a private room when the doctors allowed other visitors, besides his closest family members, to visit him more freely. But Jamie was barely paying any attention to anything that was happening around him. Sergeant Renzulli came in the morning to see how his rookie was doing but Jamie was aware of sarge's presence only for a few minutes before he drifted off again.

"He is not doing good, is he?" Renzulli asked the commissioner.

"No, he is not," the commissioner replied sadly. "I'm afraid he has got a long road ahead before he recovers," Frank Reagan sighed heavily.

"Poor kid, he is one of the finest cops I have ever trained, he didn't deserve any of this," Renzulli stated, mindlessly clutching the hat he was holding in his hands.

"Nobody deserves to experience what Jamie has been through!" The commissioner uttered, arranging the bed sheets on his son.

Renzulli could see how tired and concerned the commissioner looked and therefore he asked: "Is there anything I can do to help your family, commissioner?"

"Thank you, Tony, just be here for Jamie, if you can. He is going to need all of us!" The commissioner asked Renzulli, giving him a weak smile.

*****BB*****

"Poor uncle Jamie," Nicki uttered as she was walking down the hospital hall with her mother by her side. The two of them just paid Jamie a brief visit for he still wasn't able to stay awake for a long time. Erin has visited Jamie previously a couple of times, but it was a first time for Nicki. Sean and Jack weren't allowed to see their uncle yet because neither Linda, nor Danny thought it would do any good to Jamie, or the boys.

"I mean, he is really hurt," Nicki added, still shocked with what she saw.

"I'm afraid he is, honey," her mother just gave her a sad look.

"I don't understand it, how can someone be so cruel?" She asked, tears streaming down her face.

"This world is full of bad people, honey," Erin told her daughter as she took her around her arms.

"I mean, from all the people why did this had to happen to uncle Jamie who is such a good person?"Nicki asked, trying to understand how could something like this happen to her favorite uncle.

"I know, honey," Erin sighed heavily. "But I'm afraid it's what it is."

*****BB*****

**Day 21**

When Frank entered his son's hospital room, he found Jamie deeply distressed. He could clearly see the tears which were streaming from his son's eyes.

He walked hastily across the room to Jamie's hospital bed.

"Shh, it's okay, son, I'm here," he whispered into Jamie's ear as he gently embraced his youngest in his loving arms. He knew well that Jamie was hurting, plus he was frustrated because he wasn't able to speak thanks to his broken jaw, but mainly he was still dealing with the trauma he sustained during his abduction. Frank was well aware of all these things which were now causing his son's mental break-down.

He once again felt how much he wished his wife was alive because she always knew how to comfort their children whenever something was bothering them. Unfortunately, she wasn't around anymore and it seemed there was nothing that could soothe Jamie right now. The commissioner never felt so hopeless in his whole life. He planted Jamie's head a soft kiss, tears glittering in his own eyes. He wished so badly this nightmare could be over for Jamie, but he knew well that it will take a long time before his son will heal at least partly.

Unable to think of anything else, Frank laid himself down on the bed next to Jamie, taking his child in his loving embrace like he used to do when Jamie was having nightmares as a little boy. He would stay with him then, keeping his little boy safe, until Jamie would fall asleep. Only then the commissioner would quietly get out of the bed and go back to his wife, but not before he planted Jamie's head one last kiss. Sometimes, he would just fall asleep next to Jamie, holding his little one in his arms while he read him his favorite fairytale. Mary would come to the room then and take her husband's glasses off. She would give her two beloved men a tender kiss before she would turn off the light. Only then she would leave the room quietly, accepting the fact that she would have to spend the night alone.

"Jamie," the commissioner addressed his son in a kind voice. " It will be okay, I promise!" He whispered holding his son in his loving arms, but the truth was, he wasn't sure whether this will ever be okay, but right now Jamie needed to have hope. This was the least the commissioner could give to him.

Jamie curled closer to his father's chest, looking for protection in his dad's loving arms. He wanted to talk to his father but with his mouth being wired, he could just lie there and cry.

"Jamie," the commissioner addressed his son. "You need to drink something, otherwise you will be dehydrated," Frank told his son while he gently stroked Jamie's hair.

But Jamie just shook his head slightly wordlessly telling his dad he didn't want to drink anything.

"Jamie, you really need to drink something!" Frank urged, handing Jamie a tea Linda has brought him while he was sleeping.

Jamie took the straw into his mouth and took a few sips.

"Good boy," the commissioner praised his son, planting Jamie's head a soft kiss.

*****BB*****

**Day 30**

Jamie was lying in his hospital bed, staring blankly into the wall. He turned his head slightly towards the door when he heard some noise as if someone was entering the room. At the door, he saw his dad who was followed by Danny who was pushing a wheelchair in front of him.

"Hey, kid, good you're awake. We were thinking about taking you out to the park across the street," Danny announced to his brother giving him his typical grin.

The truth was Jamie didn't feel like going anywhere but he was too tired and weak to argue with his brother, besides he couldn't speak anyway so he didn't see there was a point to fight with them on this one.

His dad and Danny helped him to stand up before he could sit down in the wheelchair. Truth to be told the first steps Jamie made were a small miracle for it has already been a month since Jamie was rushed to the hospital in critical condition and yet he hasn't left his bed. Frank and Danny both held Jamie tightly so he wouldn't accidentally fall. Both men could see that even a simple task such as getting off the bed was difficult for Jamie who was still terribly weak.

"You are doing great son!" Frank whispered into Jamie's ear while he carefully covered his son with a blanket he brought with him so Jamie wouldn't get cold outside. Danny was carefully pushing the wheelchair in front of him. He could see tiredness and apathy clearly written all over his brother's face but he and his father still thought it will be good to take Jamie out of the hospital for a change.

It was an early autumn, but the weather was still relatively warm. Frank and Danny took Jamie to a nearby park where the two older men sat down on a bench.

"Are you comfortable, Jamie?" The commissioner asked his son wanting to know whether Jamie didn't need anything, ready to assist him immediately.

Jamie just shook his head slightly, wordlessly telling his father he was okay, although Frank knew otherwise for his beloved son was far away from being okay.

The commissioner brushed his son's cheek gently, showing Jamie his affection. He could see his son was fighting to keep his eyes open.

"Jamie, are you tired?" He wanted to know, giving his son an examining look.

Jamie just nodded his head as he did before. In fact, he wasn't just tired, he was exhausted like he was lacking all the energy.

"Okay, we will go back, so you can get some sleep," his father replied. He now wondered whether it was a good idea to take Jamie out for a walk, after all, seeing how tired his youngest child looked.

*****BB*****

**Day 42**

"Frank, I spoke to the doctor and he said we might try to give Jamie a yogurt, banana or a soup before we feed him with any solid food. So, I was thinking, I will bring Jamie a yogurt and the two of you might give it a try," Linda announced to her father-in-law, while she was checking Jamie's vitals, giving both Jamie and her father-in-law a warm smile. "What do you say, Jamie?" She then turned to her brother-in-law who was wordlessly lying in his bed, not saying a single word.

"I think, that's a good idea, Linda," the commissioner replied, giving his daughter-in-law a thankful smile. "I believe, Jamie will appreciate any food other than that nutrition he was receiving through the IV."

As it turned out, eating with only one hand was more challenging than Jamie would have thought for his shoulder hasn't healed yet. After he accidentally flipped the yogurt over a couple of times, he just gave up. The other thing was, that Jamie was still weak and therefore even such a basic thing as eating or lifting a spoon to his mouth was difficult for him. Seeing his son's struggle, Frank took over for Jamie, patiently feeding his son with some yogurt Linda has brought for him. Jamie took a few bites before he closed his eyes, letting his father know that he has had enough.

*****BB*****

**Day 43**

"So, the kid still hasn't spoken to anyone?" Danny asked his father concerned.

The commissioner just sighed heavily. "Danny, he physically wasn't able to speak for more than a month, he might need some time before he starts to talk again. Besides, he has been through hell, I don't really blame him for not wanting to talk about it, although at some point he will need to talk to someone about what happened to him." The commissioner stated.

"I know, dad, I'm just worried he might never be the same," Danny admitted worriedly.

"I'm afraid that's possible," the commissioner sighed again. "But Danny, we are his family, we have to be here for him and help him to get through this!" The dreaded father reminded to his oldest son gently.

"I just wish I could have done something to protect him," Danny admitted to his dad.

"I know son, so do I, but there is nothing we could have done to protect Jamie from what happened to him." He concluded sadly.

*****BB*****

**Day 56**

"So, Jamie, we are going to released you finally," the doctor announced to visibly impatient Jamie.

Jamie just nodded his head instead of reply. He still hasn't said a single word, causing his family, especially Danny, to worry whether he will ever speak again.

"Ready to go home, son?" The commissioner asked his youngest as he walked into the room only to be followed by Danny who came with his father to bring Jamie home.

"Hey kid," Danny greeted his baby brother giving his shoulder a tight squeeze. Jamie looked at them sheepishly, not being really comfortable with so many people in his room. Frank caught his son's worried glance and he tried to soothe him: "It's okay Jamie, the doctor here is just going to discharge you, so I and Danny can take you home. Okay?" He explained to his son as he gave Jamie a reassuring smile.

Jamie just nodded his head in reply.

"Ok, Jamie, you're good to go," the doctor announced after he checked Jamie's vitals for one last time."

*****BB*****

**Day 57**

Jamie was lying in his bed listening to the sound of rain which was falling heavily on the roof of his father's house. The weather outside was an honest reflection of his emotional state. It would soon be two months since Danny had found him and rescued him from his abductor. Somewhere deep in his head, Jamie knew he was safe now, but somehow he just couldn't force himself to really believe it, because the damage his abductor has done to him was quite vast. He hasn't been able to speak to anyone yet. He wanted desperately to tell his father or brother what he has been through, however, he just couldn't get rid of feeling ashamed for all those terrible things which happen to him.

*****BB*****

**Day 58**

"Isn't Jamie going to join us for today's dinner?" Erin asked her father as she kept looking for her younger brother.

"I'm afraid not, sweetheart," her father sighed heavily."He wasn't feeling well, so I told him he can join us whenever he feels like it," the commissioner stated honestly.

"Well, that's sad, it won't feel like family dinner without uncle Jamie," Nicki added, looking sadly at her grandfather as she was setting the table before the dinner.

"I'm sorry, Nicki, but I just don't want to rush things with him. You have to understand that your uncle has been through some horrible things, I would rather not name aloud, and therefore he will need some time so he can heal, not only physically but also emotionally." The commissioner explained to his granddaughter.

"Dad's right, Nicki," Erin admitted.

"It just doesn't feel right, you know," Nicki uttered quietly.

"I know, sweetheart, but what can we do?" Erin sighed heavily.

"I hate that man, who hurt uncle Jamie so much!" Nicki admitted, anger radiating from her.

The commissioner exchanged a concerned glance with his daughter before he replied: "I think there is more of us who hate him for what he had done to Jamie."The commissioner uttered bitterly as he thought about the man who hurt his son so much.

"Do you think uncle Jamie will recover from this?" Nicki asked her grandfather wanted to know his opinion.

"We have to hope, darling," the commissioner replied.

"Hey dad," Danny greeted his father as he entered the side door into the kitchen immediately being followed by Sean and Jack.

"Easy you two!" Danny berated his two sons who couldn't wait to see their uncle for they haven't seen him almost for two months by now.

"They're really excited to see Jamie," Danny explained, giving his father and apologizing look.

"About that, I'm afraid Jamie is not feeling well so he won't be joining us for the dinner," the commissioner broke the news to Danny and his boys. He could clearly see the disappointment written all over his grandson's faces.

"Ohhh...," they both uttered sadly.

"Come on, boys, we will go and see your uncle in his room," Danny suggested to Sean and Jack for he was too eager to see his baby brother with his own eyes.

"Just take it easy!" The commissioner warned them being worried for Jamie.

"Sure thing, dad," Danny assured his father. He then took Sean and Jack to see Jamie.

When they entered Jamie's room they found Jamie sleeping.

"Alright, you two," Danny whispered for he really didn't want to wake up his baby brother. "You can go and gently caress Jamie's hair if you want, but try not to wake him up! He is still weak and he needs lots of sleep." Danny explained leading his boys to their uncle's bed.

Jack and Sean were hesitant at first, for they were worried they might accidentally wake their uncle, but then Sean laid his little hand on Jamie's head and started to caress it gently only to be followed by his older brother.

"Good boys," Danny praised them as he watched his sons showing their affection for their uncle. He could feel the tears coming into his own eyes. Not now. He thought as he didn't want his boys to see his weakness.

"Guys, why don't you go ahead back downstairs and see whether pops needs any help with the dinner and give me a minute with Jamie alone." He suggested to his sons.

Sean and Jack just nodded their heads slightly and did as they were told but not before Sean bent over and planted Jamie's cheek a kiss.

"Oh, Sean," Danny uttered weakly, caresses his son's hair as Sean passed him by.

He then sat down on the edge of Jamie's bed, gently kept rubbing his brother's back. He sat there for a long time before he bent down and planted Jamie's head a kiss before he finally got up and left the room.

**TBC**

**Chapter 2: Chapter 2**

**Day 60**

Frank Reagan was sitting on the edge of his son's bed, gently rubbing Jamie's back as he watched his youngest son sleep. He wished Jamie would have talked to him by now, but unfortunately, his son still hasn't said a single word. According to the doctor, it was a result of the trauma Jamie has suffered. The commissioner didn't want to pressure Jamie or anything, but that didn't mean he wasn't worried about him.

Jamie shivered in his bed, slowly starting to wake up.

"Hey," Frank whispered softly, gently stroking Jamie's hair. "How did you sleep?" He asked his son.

Jamie just looked tiredly at his father slightly nodding his head.

"I was wondering whether you might be up for a small walk just around the block, what do you think?" The commissioner suggested carefully, not letting his sight of his youngest son. "The doctor said fresh air will make you good." He added, looking hopefully at his son. But Jamie just shook his head before he turned away from his father, pulling his blanket over his head.

"Alright, I guess some other time then," the commissioner sighed heavily before he leaned over to Jamie and planted his head a soft kiss. "Get some rest, son." He told Jamie before he stood up again and left his son's room.

*****BB*****

"I'm really worried about Jamie," the commissioner admitted to his oldest as the two of them were sitting in the dining room drinking a beer.

Danny just gave his father a questioning look.

"I mean, he doesn't speak, he doesn't sleep well because he is constantly having nightmares, he doesn't eat unless you feed him and still he would only take few bites. He doesn't even want to go out...," the commissioner hopelessly counted out as he kept staring at the bottle.

"Dad, we always knew this will be a shit time for all of us...he just needs time so he can get better...," Danny reminded his dad his own words.

"I know, Danny, but it has already been two months and there hasn't been much of a change" the worried father sighed heavily. "I thought he will get better once he gets home, but he isn't really improving," the commissioner uttered sadly.

"He will get better, dad!" Danny tried to assure his father. "Don't worry you will see!"

"Danny, we really need to force him out of his bed and make him walk again because his muscles are getting weaker every day he doesn't exercise them." The commissioner mentioned towards his oldest son worriedly. "I know he is in pain, I know that, but it is important he starts walking on his own again!"

"Alright, dad, I will see what I can do to help," Danny promised to his father, as he took another sip from his bottle.

*****BB*****

**Day 61**

"Jamie, I'm so sorry, I know you are in pain, but you have to get out of the bed and walk at least a bit," the commissioner pleaded his youngest son. He hated to force his child into something he knew would cause him more pain, but he really didn't have an option here.

Jamie just shook his head reluctantly, wordlessly telling his father he didn't want to.

"I'm so sorry, Jamie, but the doctor made it clear that you have to exercise your muscles," the commissioner reminded his son, uncompromisingly pulling the blanket from his legs. He then gave Jamie a hand and helped him to get up. He could see the painful expression on his son's face when he was trying to stand up. It was breaking the commissioner's heart but he knew they had to do this.

"You are doing great!" The commissioner whispered into his son's ear as Jamie stood up and with his dad's help walked few meters towards the bathroom. There he carefully sat down on the edge of the bathtub so his father could help him with his hygiene, more specifically wash him with a facecloth and shave his face.

"See, you look so much better once you are all cleaned and shaved," the commissioner uttered, looking at his son with satisfaction when he was done.

Jamie shifted his head slightly so he could see himself in the mirror, but what he saw rather scared the crap out of him. He didn't recognize the pale and thin man with the dark circles under his eyes who was now looking at him from the mirror. Few tears escaped Jamie's eyes. The commissioner who spotted the sorrow once it entered his son's eyes took Jamie into his loving arms and whispered into his son's ear: "It's okay, my son, it's okay!"

But to Jamie nothing was okay.

*****BB*****

**Day 75**

The moment before the accident, the moment before the crime, you can feel something is about to happen. You don't know what it is, but you can definitely feel it. In fact, it's there surrounding you, whether it's some kind of uneasiness in your chest or the well-known calm before the storm. You know something is not right, you just don't know what it is. You keep looking behind your shoulder searching for a mysterious stranger following you. And although you don't see anyone you start walking a just little bit faster, until you find yourself running like your life depended on it. But there are moments in life when you find yourself in a trap you simply can't escape. And then you realize that the mysterious stranger wasn't just a fantasy in your head as you see a man drawing closer to you. You can feel your heart beating ten times faster than usual. Your palms are sweaty and your throat is dry. You say a quick prayer before the whole world goes dark. But before it does, you can see your whole life right before your eyes as if it was a picture. So, did you say it? Did you say I love you to those you once loved? Did you say you meant a whole world to me? Because it might have been the last chance you got…

Jamie woke up in the middle of the night covered in cold sweat. He was breathing heavily as he remembered the dream he just had. The dream where he found himself back in that dark alley on that rainy Thursday's evening when he was kidnapped. He once again felt the needle piercing through the skin on his neck as his abductor drugged him with some hypnotics so he wouldn't be able to fight back. It made him sick just to think about the events connected to his abduction. He could feel tears filling his eyes. He was desperately trying to calm down, but after some time he just gave up and headed towards his father's room slipping under the covers next to his father. He curled bit closer to his dad wanting to feel the presence of his father.

"Jamie, is everything alright?" The commissioner asked when he realized sudden motion next to him. He didn't have to look to know it was his youngest son who came to his room looking for his protection as he did when he was just a little boy.

Jamie laid his head on his dad's shoulder looking for some comfort, tears streaming down on Frank's T-shirt.

In the weak light which was coming into the room from the street, Frank could see his son's watery eyes.

"Jamie, did you have nightmares again?" The commissioner asked his son worried. He knew Jamie was having nightmares ever since Danny found him but he hoped it will get better with the time.

His son just nodded his head slightly, more tears escaping his puffy eyes.

"You think you might want to tell me what was it about?" The commissioner asked hopefully for Jamie still hasn't said a single word.

Jamie just took a deep breath opening his mouth as if he was trying to say something but instead he started choking with more tears.

"It's okay, son," Frank assured his child. "You don't have to talk about it now if you don't feel like it," the commissioner told Jamie as he embraced him closer to his chest, planting his head a soft kiss.

*****BB*****

**Day 90**

"So, the doctor thinks Jamie's jaw has healed enough so he can have the teeth surgery if he wants to," Danny informed his father when he and Jamie returned home from the hospital where they met Jamie's dentist for the follow-up meeting. Jamie was already upstairs in his bed sleeping for the trip to the hospital has exhausted him and therefore his father sent him upstairs to get some sleep once he and Danny returned home.

"I don't know, Danny," the commissioner stated towards his oldest. "I'm not too keen to the idea that Jamie should go through another operation right now." The commissioner shook his head.

"Yeah, dad, I get that, but don't you think it wouldn't be better if Jamie could look into the mirror without being reminded every time he looks into the mirror of all the horrors he has been through?" Danny asked his father.

"I know what you mean, son, but, Danny, I'm afraid Jamie will always be reminded of what he has endured during his abduction with or without having to look into the mirror." The commissioner told to his oldest.

There was a silence before the commissioner continued.

"Danny, your brother has been through a lot during the last three months. I guess, I'm just trying to protect him from more pain," he tried to explain his point of view to his son.

"Yeah, I get it, dad, but he will need that surgery eventually," the oldest of Reagan children reminded to his father.

"I'm aware of that, Danny!"The commissioner sighed tiredly."Just not now!"

"Alright," Danny gave up. "You look tired, dad," he mentioned towards his father seeing how worn out the commissioner looked.

"You have no idea, son," the commissioner sighed heavily. "I haven't slept well since Jamie was abducted," he admitted to his oldest the truth, giving him a sad smile.

"You need to take it easy, dad," Danny told to his father. "You ain't twenty anymore!" The detective reminded to the commissioner teasingly.

"You think?" The commissioner asked giving his son slightly amused look.

*****BB*****

**Day 100**

Jamie hasn't been feeling well lately. That could have been said for the most of the time ever since he woke up in the hospital three days after Danny found him in that moldy basement. He felt constantly tired and weak as if he was lacking all the energy. He also didn't really have an appetite to eat because every time he took some food into his withdrawn stomach he felt as if he was about to vomit. He also felt anxious the most of time. He knew his father and grandfather wouldn't let anyone hurt him, but he still couldn't get rid of the feeling of insecurity. He couldn't sleep well during the night since he was constantly having nightmares. Even his hair was now falling more than usual. He wanted to talk to his father or Danny about what happened to him but every time he tried to do so, he just couldn't help feeling ashamed, as if he was dirty and not worthy of anyone's love. It was obvious to everyone around him he was showing all signs of posttraumatic stress. Unfortunately, the one who didn't really realize it at the moment was Jamie. He hated himself for what he has become. He hated knowing he was a burden for his family, the people he loved the most. If only this nightmare could end. He kept thinking. And then it occurred to him there might be a way…

*****BB*****

**Day 120**

"Sir," detective Abigail Baker approached her boss as she rushed into his office.

"What is it, Baker?"The commissioner asked looking up from the file of papers on his desk he was reading.

"Sir, your father just called. You need to get to the New York Presbyterian Hospital, something's with your son," detective Baker informed her boss with a shaking voice.

"Which one?" Frank asked his assistant instantly alerted.

"Jamie, it's Jamie, sir," detective Baker uttered weakly.

"Did my father said what happened?" The commissioner wanted to know immediately. Shouldn't Jamie be home recovering from his injuries? He kept questioning in his head.

"I'm not really sure, sir. Your father said something about Jamie trying to commit a suicide," she whispered, trying to deliver the news to the commissioner as gently as possible but she could still see the horror in his eyes when he realized what she just told him.

"He tried to do what?" He asked shocked, unable to believe his own ears.

"I'm afraid he tried to commit a suicide," Baker repeated. "I'm so sorry, Frank," she added, looking sorry at her boss.

"How bad is it?" The commissioner wanted to know when he overcame the initial shock.

"We don't know, sir," she replied, giving Frank an apologizing look. "When your father called he was on his way to the hospital with Jamie."

"I need to get to

son as soon as possible!" The commissioner announced. The news about his son just left him speechless, but he knew he needed to pull it together, however, he still wasn't able to control his shaking hands.

"Your detail is already waiting for you, sir," detective Baker informed her boss noticing his shaking hands.

"Thank you. And, Baker, this doesn't leave this office," he told his assistant as he took his coat from the rack.

"Of course, sir," she replied as she watched her boss leave. She could see the fear and pain clearly written all over her boss's face.

*****BB*****

"How is he, pops?" Frank asked his father as he rushed through the doors of the emergency.

"He will be okay, Francis!" The former commissioner tried to assure his son.

"What happened?"Frank wanted to know immediately, trying to make sense of it.

"He swallowed some of my sleeping pills in combination with his painkillers." The patriarch of the Reagan family informed his son.

"Oh, God!" Escaped Frank's lips.

*****BB*****

"My youngest child just tried to commit a suicide and I have no idea how to help him," the commissioner uttered weakly. His shaking voice couldn't escape to Danny and Erin.

"Dad, you might consider sending Jamie to some kind of psychiatric facility," Erin suggested carefully to her father.

"Over my dead body, Erin!" The commissioner stated sharply. "The day I send Jamie to a psychiatric clinic is the day I can start planning his own funeral!"

"Dad, no one wants Jamie to go anywhere, but I don't think we have an option here!" Erin told her father.

"No, Erin! Jamie is going to stay with us, surrounded by the people who love and care about him!" The commissioner insisted stubbornly.

"Isn't it what we were trying to do the last couple of months?" Erin asked her father unable to believe her own ears. "Because that worked pretty well!"

"Erin, I'm not going to send Jamie away and that's my final word! Especially, after what happened today!"Frank said coldly to Erin.

"Dad! For Christ's sake, Jamie tried to kill himself!" Erin cried back.

"Erin, I'm his father and I will make sure he will be okay, even if it means I will have to sit on him 24/7!" The commissioner told his daughter angrily. The fact they were all tired and worried about Jamie didn't help the general mood which was now prevailing Reagan's household either.

"Fine, but if something happens to him, it will be on you!"Erin snapped back at her father.

Frank had to take a deep breath so he wouldn't say something he might later regret. He just turned around and walked away, mumbling something about needing some fresh air, leaving his two children behind.

"Erin, I think you are not being fair with dad," Danny, who till now remained unusually silent, told his sister, giving her a concerned look. "He is trying his best to make sure Jamie will be okay!" The detective reminded to his sister in case she forgot.

"I know, Danny. But it has been already two months since Jamie was released from the hospital and he is not getting any better! For Christ's sake, he tried to kill himself and if it wasn't for gramps he would have succeeded." Her voice died out. "We could have lost him, Danny...," she choked on the last words.

Danny took his sister into his loving arms and whispered into her ear: "Shh, sis, we will make sure he will be okay!" He stressed towards his sister, giving Erin's head a tender kiss.

"I'm so scared Danny," she cried as she leaned her head against her brother's shoulder.

"I know, sis, I know. We will get through this, but we have to stick together, okay?" Danny asked Erin looking into her watery eyes.

"Yeah," she sobbed.

"I think I owe dad an apology," she whispered feeling a little bit embarrassed about her previous behavior.

"I think you do," her brother replied, holding Erin protectively in his arms.

*****BB*****

"Do you also think I should send Jamie to some mental institution?" The commissioner asked his oldest as the two of them were sitting in the dining room with a bottle of whiskey in front of them. Linda was working a night shift that night and therefore she promised she would look after Jamie so the others could go home and get some rest. Frank and Danny were resistant to the idea at first, but after Linda explained to them that after the drugs the doctors gave Jamie would most likely spend the whole night sleeping, they finally agreed to go home.

"I don't know, dad. I really don't know." Danny admitted sadly. "I understand why you don't want to send him away, I do, but on the other hand Erin is right, he is not getting any better." Danny sighed heavily.

"I have never felt so hopeless in my life," the commissioner uttered weakly, tears threatening to escape his tired eyes. "I'm scared I will lose him." He admitted to his oldest while he was wiping his eyes. "Damn it, he tried to kill himself!" The commissioner's voice broke out. "My youngest son, my baby, my pride and joy tried to kill himself," he repeated with a shaking voice.

At this moment Danny could clearly see the tears streaming down his father's face. His father who was usually calm in any situation, providing an example for his men and women were now falling apart, fearing for his youngest child's life.

"Dad, the doctors got him! They got him and he will make full recovery!" Danny reminded to his father, squeezing his shoulder.

"What if pops didn't find him in time?" The commissioner asked his oldest, picturing the worst case scenario.

"But he did! Dad, you have to stop torturing yourself, this is not on you!"Danny stressed to his father.

"Yeah, but I should have been here," the commissioner replied, looking somewhere into the distance.

Danny knew his father blamed himself for returning back to his duties of the police commissioner but he couldn't foresee what would happen, in fact, no one could ever guess Jamie would try to kill himself.

"Dad, it wasn't your fault! What happened is not on you!"

*****BB*****

**Day 121**

The commissioner was sitting next to his son's hospital bed, waiting for Jamie to wake up. He looked at Jamie's hands which were now in restrains. He hated to see his youngest son was kept in restrains as if he was some animal, but unfortunately, it was the policy of the psychiatric ward. They used to restrain patients whenever there was a possibility they might hurt themselves or someone else.

The whole room was practically empty, making the commissioner even more uncomfortable. Looking around the room Frank Reagan reaffirmed himself he didn't want his son to be locked up in any mental institution in any case. If Jamie should recover from the damage he sustained it should be home with his family by his side. Of course, Frank Reagan knew some things had to change, but he wasn't going to send Jamie anywhere. End of story!

After some time Jamie started to wake up.

"Jamie," the commissioner addressed his youngest son when he saw Jamie was awake. "You can't do this to me ever again!" The dreaded father told his son seriously.

Jamie just gave his father a watery gaze.

"I know you are hurting, son. I do! But you can't do this ever again! Is that clear?" The commissioner asked his youngest son.

Jamie was obviously loopy from the drugs they gave him, one more reason for not sending him to some mental health institution Frank thought, but he managed to nod his head slightly.

Jamie looked nervously at the restrains and around the room, seeming extremely uncomfortable.

"Now, listen to me, Jamie!" His father told him. "I'm going to get you out of here as soon as I can and I will bring you home, but Jamie, some things will have to change!" The commissioner pointed out seriously.

Frank could see Jamie's eyes flooded with tears. "Jamie, I know you are hurting, son, I know that. But, son, you have to let me in so I can help you! Jamie, please, I can't lose you, because honestly, I could not survive it. So, Jamie, please, just keep fighting, my boy!" The commissioner pleaded his youngest as few tears escaped his eyes.

"I'm sorry, dad," Jamie mumbled tiredly, as he looked at his father. His own eyes were flooded with tears. "I didn't want to hurt you or anyone else in the family, I just didn't know what to do," he admitted to his father between the sobs.

"It's okay, Jamie, we will deal with it one step at the time," the commissioner promised to his youngest as he bent down embracing Jamie in his loving arms, thanking God his son was alive.

Jamie just nodded his head, tears streaming down his face.

"How do you feel, Jamie?" Frank asked Jamie concerned as he stroked his son's hair.

"I'm tired and dizzy," Jamie admitted the truth.

"Just go back to sleep, my son," the commissioner suggested, planting Jamie's head a soft kiss.

"Will you be here?" Jamie pleaded his father innocently.

"Of course, I will," The commissioner assured his son as he ran his fingers through Jamie's soft hair.

*****BB*****

**Day 122**

"Jesus, kid, what the hell were you thinking?" Danny berated his younger brother as he sat down next to Jamie's hospital bed. "You scared the crap out of us!" He added looking at Jamie accusingly.

"I wasn't thinking anything, Danny," Jamie admitted to his older brother."I just wanted it to stop…," he uttered weakly avoiding Danny's look.

"Jesus, Jamie, I know you have been through hell, but a suicide? Seriously? Did it occur to you what it would have done to us? To dad? Do you really think he would recover from losing another son?"Danny asked his brother seriously.

"I wasn't thinking about any of that," Jamie admitted quietly.

"Well, that's what you should have been thinking about before you came up with your stupid plan!" Danny told Jamie. He was angry, but not really with his kid brother but rather with that beast who hurt Jamie so much.

"Jamie, we all know how much you have been hurt, but we will get through this, little brother! We will! I know there are some things going through your head right now, pain, fear, anger, shame, but I can't stress enough none of those things you are going through could ever make us love you any less!" Danny stressed to his brother.

"It was my fault!"Jamie uttered suddenly, his voice barely a whisper.

"What are you talking about, kid?" Danny asked confused.

"It was my fault! I wasn't able to prevent it from happening!" Jamie shouted at his brother.

Danny looked at Jamie shocked. "Jamie, it wasn't your fault!" He tried to assure his baby brother. "None of this is your fault! That crazy psychopath who took you and abused you is the only one to blame, not you!" The detective told his brother stroking his hair gently.

He watched Jamie's eyes filling with more tears. He desperately needed someone to comfort him.

"Screw this," Danny mumbled as he released Jamie from his restraints, taking his kid brother who was deeply distressed into his loving arms, gently rocking Jamie like he has done to him when he was a little baby.

"Shh, it's okay little brother," Danny whispered into Jamie's ear as his baby brother kept crying into his brother's shirt. "It's okay, it's okay" he tried to soothe Jamie.

**TBC**

**Author's note:**

**While I was doing some research for this story I came across an article which claimed that up to 40% of male rape victims will at some point attempt to commit a suicide, some of them will unfortunately succeed. What I also found surprising and worth paying attention to was that only a very small percentage of male rape victims, compared to female victims, will look up medical treatment or report the assault, mainly because of the shame, however that means they won't get tested for STDs. It seems as if the male rape was still kind of taboo in our society…just saying, it's not only women who get assaulted, but thanks to the fact that female rape is more discussed as a topic women are more open in reporting the assaults and getting the medical treatment.**

**Chapter 3: Chapter 3**

**Day 123**

As a parent you will do everything possible to protect your children from ever getting hurt, it's simply your natural instinct. But sometimes it's out of your hands. Sometimes you just cannot prevent the unavoidable. Sometimes you just have no other option but to watch as the disaster strikes those you love the most. And when it does it will leave you speechless. But no matter what you have to stay strong. You have to keep going for them, even if it seems impossible. And so you get out of the bed every morning and you put one foot in front of another and you keep moving. One step at the time. And eventually, things will get back to normal. Will you ever feel the same? No, you won't. It would be naïve to think you can ever be the same. But at least it will get easier with the time. Those were the words Frank Reagan was thinking as he watched his youngest son sleeping in his bed. The commissioner brought Jamie home this morning and he hasn't left his side ever since. He was wondering whether he did the right thing, but he gave Jamie a promise he was not going to break and therefore he was willing to do whatever it takes to make sure his youngest son will be safe home much to Erin's disapproval.

The commissioner heard a cracking noise as the door into the room opened slowly. He lifted his head slightly and he saw his father walking in.

"I just wanted to make sure you both were doing okay," Henry uttered in a low voice, not wanting to wake Jamie up, as he came over to his son. He has seen neither the commissioner nor Jamie ever since they returned home from the hospital this morning. He knew they were both tired and therefore he hoped they were getting some very much needed sleep.

"How are you, Francis," Henry asked his son giving the commissioner a concerned look.

"I'm okay, pops," the commissioner tried to convince his father, but no one could fool Henry Reagan, not even his own son.

Henry just shook his head. "Francis," he uttered, letting his son know that he can tell him anything.

"I'm fine, pops, as much as a father whose child just tried to commit a suicide can be," the commissioner sighed heavily.

"He will be alright, Francis! We will make sure of that!" Henry told to his son, giving his shoulder a tight squeeze.

**Day 159**

"You're sure you want to do this, dad?" Danny asked his father concerned as the two men sat in the living room sipping some good old whiskey. Jamie was already upstairs dozing. He spent most of these days sleeping because the antidepressants the doctors prescribed him made him numb all the time. Frank hated to see his youngest son in such a state, but after Jamie tried to kill himself the commissioner knew his son needed to take some meds to help him with his depression.

"I mean, the district attorney said he can get that beast convicted even without your statement," Danny continued as he took another sip out of his glass.

The commissioner just lifted his head slightly, looking his oldest son in the eye: "I have to do this, Danny! It's my duty as Jamie's father. Someone needs to make sure your brother will get justice after what he has been through and as long as he cannot stand for himself, I have to do it for him!" The commissioner explained.

"I get it, dad, but don't you think your presence will draw even more attention to Jamie's case?" Danny asked, worried what the trial might do to his younger brother.

"Well, I'm aware of that, son, that's also why I asked the judge to hear Jamie's case with the exclusion of public so we can ensure some privacy to your brother. However, the media has already paid enough attention to Jamie's case, so I'm afraid there isn't much what hasn't been said on TV yet," the commissioner sighed heavily, wrinkling his forehead. There was nothing he wanted more than to protect his youngest son from more pain and the whole media circus, however, Jamie's case kind of lived its own life. And him being the commissioner draw even more attention from the public.

"Poor kid, he didn't deserve any of this," Danny declared, wishing this nightmare could be finally over for his kid brother.

"I know what you mean, Danny, but at least Jamie is doing bit better now," the commissioner told to his oldest, trying to give him some courage.

"Dad, Jamie's swallowing antidepressants like they were Smarties, he is far away from my definition of being okay!" Danny shook his head exasperatedly.

"Danny, I have been holding a bedside vigil next to your brother's bed ever since you found him that day, so don't you think I know what kind of state he really is in? I even make him take showers with the door open so I know he doesn't cut his wrists in the meantime, for God's sakes! I know he is not good, I know that, but at least he started talking since he tried to commit a suicide last month and that's a huge step in my opinion!" The commissioner stated looking blankly at the glass he was holding in his hands.

Danny bent his head slightly, rubbing tiredly his forehead. "I'm sorry, dad, I didn't mean it!" He apologized to his father seeing the pain in his father's eyes. "I guess, I'm just worried what the trial will do to Jamie, although he is not participating personally." He added.

"That's also what I'm worried about, Danny. But, son, someone needs to make sure that the man who hurt your brother gets what he deserves!" The commissioner stressed nodding his head. He then took the bottle into his hand and poured themselves another glass.

"I don't know about you, dad, but if I should have it my way, I would have killed him that day," Danny ground out, anger radiating from him. "I would have!"

"But then you would have become a murderer," the commissioner stated seriously. "And I'm pretty sure your brother wouldn't want that!" He reminded his son.

"At least that beast would be dead and this nightmare would be over for Jamie!" Danny uttered in a low voice.

"If only it was that easy, Danny, then I would shoot him myself," the commissioner stated taking a deep breath. "But unfortunately it isn't!"

There was a silence before Frank continued: "Danny, you have to accept the fact that this nightmare will probably never end for your brother. He might make peace with it with the time, but it might never really end for him." The commissioner said what both men already knew, although Danny was refusing to admit.

They then sat quietly, wordlessly attending to their own drinks.

*****BB*****

**Day 161**

_Is commissioner Reagan going to get justice for his son?_

_Top cop son's abduction case going to trial._

_"Officer Jamison Reagan, the youngest son of the current NYPD commissioner Frank Reagan was abducted and held captive earlier this year. He had been missing for more than twenty-one days before he was finally found by the police department. During his capture officer, Reagan sustained serious injuries, was allegedly tortured and subjected to sexual assault. Officer Reagan has been on sick leave ever since. The commissioner, on behalf of his son, asked the judge for the trial with the exclusion of the public. Mr. Reagan also asked the media to respect his family's privacy during this difficult time. Although many feel sorry for the commissioner and his son, the question which remains unanswered is, whether the commissioner Reagan is able to protect the citizens of New York City if he failed to protect his own son?"_

"Frank, this newspapers is just a rubbish and I strongly advise you not to give it a second thought!" Garrett told to his friend as he tossed the newspapers into the bin in the corner of the commissioner's office.

"Well, the only problem is there is some truth in it." The commissioner sighed heavily as he looked tiredly out of the window of 1PP.

"What do you mean, Frank? It's clearly a nonsense to me!" Garrett stated angrily. He might have often disagreed with his friend but no one was going to attack the commissioner like this, especially if it included his youngest son. And if they did they would have to deal with Garret first.

"Well, I can't help but wonder whether there wasn't anything I could have done to prevent this from happening," the commissioner admitted suddenly.

"You can't be serious, Frank!" Garrett cried out shaking his head. "You have always leaned over backward to keep your children safe! What happened to Jamie is not on you!" He emphasized, cursing the reporter who wrote that stupid article.

"I'm his father, Garrett," the commissioner uttered quietly as he looked at his friend. "How is that not on me?"The commissioner uttered quietly as his eyes watered again.

This broke Garrett's heart. He knew Frank Reagan as the strict but fair police commissioner, strong at any given time to whom his men and women looked up to, but what he saw now was rather a brokenhearted man who has been through too much pain and grief. Not only did the commissioner lose his beloved wife and his middle son, but he also was going through hell ever since his youngest boy was abducted. First, he had to live with the uncertainty of not knowing whether Jamie was alive and then when his precious boy was finally discovered the commissioner learned about all the horrors his son has been through. It seemed to Garrett that his friend has aged at least ten years during the last couple of months.

*****BB*****

**Day 175**

"Jamie, we have some good news for you," Erin whispered as she entered her brother's dark room, turning the light on. She was followed by her brother and father. She sat down on the edge of her brother's bed, gently rubbing his back.

After a while, Jamie started to wake up.

"Hey, little brother," Danny greeted him, giving Jamie a warm smile. "How are you today?" He asked as caressed his cheek.

"I'm tired," Jamie mumbled. This wasn't anything new for their father who was well aware of the fact that his youngest son spent most of the days sleeping and even when he eventually woke up he would still be tired.

"Jamie, there is something we wanted to tell you," Erin stated, carefully examining her brother's face.

"What is it?" Jamie asked sleepily.

"He got a lifetime, kid," Danny announced to his younger brother enthusiastically.

Jamie didn't know how to respond. Of course, he was grateful that the guy who kidnapped him was gone for good, but just thinking about him brought back some painful memories. He found himself once again in that damp basement where he was kept. Where that beast tortured him and raped him repeatedly. Remembering all those horrible things he endured Jamie started hyperventilating unable to catch his breath.

"Jamie, what is it?" Erin cried out.

"Hey, kid, you need to take slow and deep breaths!" Danny instructed his younger brother.

"Dad!" Erin turned to their father for help, fear written all over her face.

"I think he is having a panic attack," the commissioner stated as he gestured Erin to get off the bed to make some space for him. He then took his youngest son into his arms, holding him tight. "Just take a deep breath, son," the commissioner told Jamie. "That's it, deep and slow." He said as he kept stroking Jamie's hair.

Slowly Jamie started to calm down until he was calm enough for his father to release him from his firm grasp.

"Better?" The commissioner asked, carefully examining his son.

Jamie just nodded his head, letting them all know he was okay.

"You really did scare me, Jamie!" Erin told her brother as she stroked Jamie's hair lovingly.

*****BB*****

**Day 180**

It was breaking Frank's heart to see his youngest son in pain again. Jamie was after his teeth surgery during which the dentist repaired the teeth he lost or which were broken during the torture he endured. Frank knew the surgery will cost his son more pain and therefore he wasn't really thrilled Jamie agreed to go through the surgery now. He secretly hoped his son would wait a bit longer till he will feel better, but to his own surprise, Jamie decided to get over with the surgery now.

The commissioner was sitting on the edge of his son's bed, stroking Jamie's hair tenderly. He could feel the warmth radiating from Jamie. Frank put his hand on his son's forehead. He could feel Jamie was definitely having a fever. The commissioner just sighed heavily. His son was the most likely fighting infection. Frank knew there was a chance this could happen, in fact, various complications were quite common as a consequence of teeth surgeries, however, he hoped Jamie would avoid the complications. He just wished it will be enough to give Jamie some Aspirin and his son will get better soon. He really didn't want Jamie to have to go back to the hospital again.

"Jamie," the commissioner tried to wake his son up gently. "You need to wake up, son!" "Hmh," Jamie mumbled sleepily.

"Jamie, I'm so sorry to wake you but you seem feverish to me." The commissioner told his son as he rubbed Jamie's back, trying to wake his son up. "Jamie, I need to check your temperature and give you some meds," he tried to explain to his son.

"Hmh," Jamie muttered again.

"I know, you are tired, son," the commissioner uttered, stroking Jamie's hair. "I will just take your temperature and give you some Aspirin and then you can go back to sleep," the commissioner promised, but Jamie was too feverish to pay attention to his dad's words, besides he was drifting off again.

*****BB*****

**Day 200**

"So, after your visit at the canine unit, your detail will take you to the city hall. You have a meeting with the mayor at one." The DCPI Garrett Moore informed the commissioner.

"Isn't there something we can do to get me out of the meeting with the mayor?" Frank asked, looking at his friend pleadingly.

"I'm afraid not," Garret replied. "Frank, you already postponed the meeting with the mayor twice! Are you trying to get all of us out of job?" He asked, not sure whether he really wanted to know the answer.

"Well...," the commissioner uttered.

"Frank, that was a rhetorical question!" Garrett stated irritated. "And one more thing. The canine unite insisted they want to give you a gift for your upcoming birthday. I tried to explain to them that it wasn't necessary but they kind of insisted. Anyway, they want to give you a German Shepherd's puppy. I arranged with them that you will officially receive the dog and then you will give it back to them so the dog can become NYPD's working dog." Garrett explained to the commissioner.

This caught Frank's attention. "Actually, Garrett, I might want to keep the dog," he stated suddenly.

"I thought after what happened with Greta you didn't want another dog?" Garrett asked his friend surprised.

"Yeah, that is true, but I was thinking about getting the dog for Jamie," the commissioner revealed to Garrett.

"Oh, I see," Garret uttered. "How is he lately, Frank?" The DCPI wanted to know, looking questioningly at his friend.

"Well, he is doing bit better now, but I'm afraid he is still not well enough…," the commissioner sighed heavily.

"Alright, if that's what you really want with the dog, I will arrange it," Garrett announced.

"Thank you!" The commissioner told his friend.

"You welcome!" Garrett said before he left the office.

*****BB*****

**Day 202**

"Good Lord, Francis, what is it?" Henry asked his son surprised when he saw Frank entering the side door into the kitchen holding something which seemed pretty much alive protectively in his arms.

"It's a German Shepherd's puppy, pops," the commissioner replied as he handed the dog to Henry so he could take his coat off.

"I can see that, Francis! But where did you get it?" The former commissioner kept inquiring.

"I got it from the canine unit within the NYPD as a gift for my upcoming birthday," Frank explained. "I thought we might keep the dog."

"It's adorable, but are you sure about it?" Henry asked concerned as he pets the small ball of hair in his loving arms.

"Why do you all keep asking me whether I'm sure I want to keep the dog?" The commissioner asked bit irritated.

"Well, maybe because after Greta died you didn't want to even hear about having another dog," his father reminded his son, giving the dog back to Francis so he could take a bowl out of the cupboard and fill it with some fresh water for the puppy.

"The dog is for Jamie, pops," the commissioner explained.

"I see," Henry replied as he placed the bowl on the floor.

Frank put the dog down so he could get some water if he wanted.

"I mean, Jamie has always loved dogs and frankly, I'm willing to try anything which could help Jamie to get better…," the commissioner told to his father.

Both men kept looking at the dog who was now drinking thirstily from Betty's old China.

"Maybe we should call Jamie and show him his surprise," Henry suggested when the dog started wandering around his kitchen.

"Right," the commissioner uttered, walking to the hallway so he could call his son to come downstairs.

"Jamie, could you come to the kitchen and have a look on something," the commissioner called his youngest not sure whether Jamie was awake.

"Just a minute, dad," Jamie shouted when he opened the door from his room. "I'll be right there," he assured his father.

"Alright," Frank replied. "Just come whenever you are ready." He added as he turned around and walked back to the kitchen.

*****BB*****

"Can we keep him?" Jamie asked his dad eagerly once he saw the dog.

The commissioner just gave his son a wide smile, happy to see Jamie lighten up. "The dog is your Jamie if you want it. But, Jamie, you have to take good care of the dog! That includes feeding him, training him, bathing him, but most importantly taking the dog for walks several times a day." He stressed to his son.

Henry could see the sad expression once it entered Jamie's face. They all knew Jamie hasn't left the house ever since they brought him home except for his appointments at the hospital. Seeing how sorry his grandson looked, he immediately came to help: "If you want, I can come and walk the dog with you until you feel confident enough to go out on your own!" Henry suggested.

"You really would do that for me, gramps?" Jamie lightened up.

"Of course, I would!"Henry assured his youngest grandson, giving Jamie a warm smile.

"So, I can keep the dog, right?" Jamie asked carefully, looking pleadingly at his dad.

"Of course you can," the commissioner replied giving his son a loving smile.

Jamie handed the dog to his grandfather so he could give his dad a big hug.

"Thank you, dad!" He whispered happily from his father's loving embrace.

"You welcome," Frank replied, planting Jamie's head a tender kiss. Seeing how happy his son looked Frank Reagan knew he did the right thing.

It was later that evening when Frank Reagan went to check on his son. He found Jamie asleep in his bed. He came closer so he could adjust the blanket Jamie was originally covered with. The commissioner noticed a sudden motion next to his son, but it was only when he approached the bed when he realized it was not only Jamie who was dozing in the bed. Next to him was the eight weeks old puppy of the German Shepherd. Frank sighed heavily as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He knew Mary would never have approved to keep the dog in the bed, but then she wasn't here anymore. The commissioner thought as he looked down thoughtfully on his sleeping son and the dog. Besides, Jamie wasn't doing well, so even his late wife could reconsider.

"Look after him for me," Frank told the dog as he rubbed Jamie's back tenderly. He then stood up and left the room quietly.

**Chapter 4: Chapter 4**

**Day** **235**

"And then he...,"Jamie's voice broke out as he was crying in his father's arms. The two of them were lying together in Frank's bed as Jamie decided to finally open up to his dad and tell him some painful details about his abduction.

"Shh, it's okay, my boy, you're safe now!" Frank uttered as he rubbed Jamie's back tenderly, trying to calm his son down. He himself was fighting tears as he kept listening to all those horrible things his youngest son has endured.

"I begged him to stop," Jamie whispered, his eyes flooded with tears. "But he wouldn't," Jamie choked. "I was hurt and the pain was unbearable. I wanted him to stop, I wanted it to be over... at some point, I even prayed I would die because I couldn't bear the pain anymore...," Jamie sobbed in his dad's embrace.

"Oh my baby," Frank cried out unable to hold the tears any longer rubbing tenderly his son's shivering back.

"But I knew I had to stay alive for you. No matter how much he tortured me, no matter what he had done to me, I knew you guys would find me...," Jamie revealed to his father.

"Jamie, I'm so sorry I wasn't able to protect you from all of this...," the commissioner told to his son as he embraced him closer to his chest, planting Jamie's head a gentle kiss.

They stayed like this for a long time, before Jamie whispered: "I just wish things could be like before all of this happened..."

Frank planted his son another kiss. "We will get there eventually, Jamie!" He promised to his son. How could someone hurt his baby so much? How could someone be so cruel? He kept thinking

"Dad," Jamie spoke again. "Ever since he…, you know what…, I keep questioning whether there wasn't something I could have done to prevent it from happening." Jamie uttered in a broken voice.

"Jamie, look at me, I want you to know that you did nothing wrong!" The commissioner stressed to his son. Cursing once again that evil man who hurt his son so badly.

"Dad, I don't know if I will ever be able to be a cop again. I mean even if I recover enough to return, I'm not sure if I could go back with everyone knowing what happened to me." Jamie entrusted his father with his biggest fear.

Frank never really thought about what will happen once Jamie recovers, because right now his job was to help his son to get better, he never thought what will happen then. "Jamie, it doesn't really matter, it's just a job. Right now, I want you to focus on getting better. We will cross that bridge once we get there." He assured his son as he rubbed his back lovingly.

Soon after, Jamie who was emotionally drained felt asleep in his father's arms. Frank gently covered him with his blanket and planted him one more kiss before he slips out of the bed. He then went downstairs to pour himself a glass of scotch before he would get to the paperwork he still had for tonight.

"How is he?" Henry asked his son when he saw the commissioner entering the kitchen.

"He fell asleep in my bed." The commissioner stated as he took a glass out of the cupboard.

"He told me…, he told me everything about what happened to him during his abduction…," Frank revealed to his father as he poured himself a drink.

"Good Lord," Henry whispered. "You alright, Francis?" The former commissioner asked concerned, carefully studying his son's expression.

"I'm glad I wasn't the one who found Jamie because I swear to you, pops, I would have killed that bastard who did this to him!" The commissioner stated coldly.

"Well, I still can't believe Danny didn't do it instead," Henry muttered what he was thinking for a long time.

"He was under my strict instructions not to!" The commissioner stated. "But knowing what I know now, I would have killed that guy. I would have!"

"Son, I think we will both agree that it's every parent's instinct to step in and protect their child from ever getting hurt," Henry told the commissioner, knowing well that he would most likely do the same.

"I just wish I could have protected him, pops," the commissioner sighed heavily, his head bent down in remorse.

"Francis, I know you blame yourself, but there is nothing you could have possibly done," Henry tried to reason with his son.

"I'm his father, pops," the commissioner uttered, his forehead wrinkled as he looked at his father.

"Still, wasn't your fault!" Henry insisted. "Let's rather be grateful that we found him and that he is alive!" Henry suggested, giving his son a weak smile.

"I know, pops. I just hope there was something I could do to take this nightmare away from him," The commissioner sighed heavily. He suddenly didn't remind the strict but fair police commissioner, but rather a worried father who was fearing for his child.

"I think you just did, Francis!" The former commissioner gave his son a knowing smirk.

*****BB*****

**Day 262**

"Uncle Jamie, would you go with us to the park and play some baseball?" Jack asked innocently during the Sunday dinner.

The adults all exchanged a concerned glance, looking worriedly from Jamie to Jack.

"Honey, I don't think that's a good idea," Linda told her son.

"But why?" Jack asked confused. Their uncle used to play with them all the time. Jack thought for himself.

"Because your uncle is still recovering from his injuries, remember?" Linda tried to explain.

"But he was injured months ago, shouldn't he be healthy by now?" Sean asked not understanding how could someone be ill for such a long time.

"Honey, some injuries can take really long time to heal!" Linda tried to reason with her son, giving Jack "I will explain later" look.

"I think I would like to go out with them and play baseball," Jamie announced suddenly drawing everyone's attention to him.

"Jamie, you don't have to do this!" Erin rushed to help.

"No, it's okay, I want to go play baseball with them," Jamie insisted.

"You sure about it, kid?" Danny asked his brother uncertainly.

"Look, guys, I appreciate your concern, but I need to do something because honestly I'm quite disgusted with my life right now and unless I start to do things I used to do before all of this happened I won't be able to move on." Jamie tried to explain looking at his family members.

"You sure about this, son?" The commissioner wanted to know.

"Yes, I'm," Jamie assured his father and everyone else around the table.

"Alright, I guess you can take the dog with you for a walk," the commissioner suggested then.

"I will go with you guys," Danny offered not really wanting to let Jamie go without any adult accompanying him.

"You know what, why don't we all go?" The commissioner suggested to his family. "You guys can play baseball and I and pops can walk the dog in the meantime."

*****BB*****

**Day 280**

"Dad, I was thinking about going to see my psychiatrist, I want to talk to her about stopping using those pills for depression," Jamie announced to his father.

The commissioner just took his glasses off and looked at his son. "You mean those you stopped using right after you and I talked?" He asked kindly.

"You know?"Jamie mumbled surprised.

"Come on, Jamie, I'm a cop and your father, I know everything! Besides those antidepressants were making you numb all the time, it's hard not to notice you aren't in your bed sleeping the whole time," the commissioner gave Jamie a loving smile.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Jamie wondered.

"Well, it wasn't my decision to make. Besides you seem to be doing much better, so I decided to let you follow your intuition." His father told Jamie the truth.

"So, you are not mad with me?" Jamie asked carefully.

"Of course not," Frank gave Jamie a warm smile."Son, whatever makes you feel better, I'm all in!"

"Thanks, dad!" Jamie uttered as he curled closer to his father.

Frank stopped for a moment taking his child into a loving embrace, gently caresses his son's hair.

*****BB*****

**Day 285**

"Dad, I got your message!" Danny shouted as he walked into his father's house.

"Kid! You shouldn't be drinking that beer, not while you are taking those pills of yours!" The detective told to his brother when he saw Jamie walking out of the kitchen holding a bottle of beer in his hands followed by the German Shepherd. These two have become inseparable. Danny thought when he saw his brother being loyally followed by the dog.

"Actually, Danny, that's why we called you," the commissioner uttered behind Danny's back as he walked out of his study, running into his son's in the hallway0. "Tonight we are celebrating because Jamie has stopped using those antidepressants of his," he revealed to his oldest son cheerfully.

"Seriously, kid?" Danny asked surprised.

"Yes, I did," Jamie confirmed his father's words, nodding his head.

"Does your doctor know about this?" Danny wanted to know.

"Of course she does," Jamie gave his brother a smirk.

"And what does she say about it?" The detective kept questioning.

"She says it was about a time I stopped using them," Jamie told his brother amused.

"So, you're okay, little brother?"

"As much as I can be, I guess," Jamie told Danny, shrugging his shoulders. "I mean, I will still come for weekly sessions, but me and the doctor both agreed that it wasn't necessary for me to take those antidepressants anymore," he revealed to his brother, giving Danny a warm smile.

"I couldn't be happier for you, kid!" Danny whispered into Jamie's ear as he embraced his kid brother in his loving arms.

It was in this moment when Erin walked into the front door with several boxes of pizza in her hands. "Heard there was a party tonight, brought some pizza," she said giving the three Reagan men a warm smile.

*****BB*****

**Day 345**

"Dad, you think you have a minute for me?" Jamie asked as he entered his father's study.

"For you? Any time and every time," the commissioner replied, giving Jamie a warm smile. Come in and have a seat," he offered to his son. "So, what brings you here, Jamie?" The commissioner wanted to know.

"Dad, I was thinking about going back to work," Jamie announced to his father suddenly, looking into his father's eyes waiting for his reaction.

"I see," Frank replied as he kept processing his son's words. "You sure, you're ready?" The commissioner asked his youngest as he inspected carefully Jamie's eyes.

"Well, I think I'm, but I will never know until I try, right?" Jamie tried to explain his point of view to his father.

"Alright then, if that's what you want and if the doctors will clear you for duty then I won't be an obstruction. Just make sure you take it easy and don't overstretch yourself!" The commissioner warned his son.

"There is just one more thing I wanted to discuss with you," Jamie told his dad.

"What is it, Jamie?" The commissioner asked.

"Well, I was thinking about..."

*****BB*****

**Day 360**

"You sure you're ready to go back, kid?" Danny asked his brother concerned. He wasn't really thrilled about the fact that his kid brother decided to return to duty. Not that he wasn't happy that Jamie was doing better, but he still hoped the kid would wait a bit longer.

"Of course, I'm, Danny!" Jamie uttered giving his brother a wide smile.

"And what about your plan, I mean, come on I thought you loved being the beat cop, right?" Danny questioned.

"I do love being a beat cop!" Jamie insisted. "I just thought it might be time for a change," he tried to explain to his older brother.

"I don't know, kid, I really don't know...," Danny uttered not being really convinced whether what his kid brother intended was a good idea.

"Come on, Danny, it will be fine!"

*****BB*****

**Day 366**

"You know, kid, I'm gonna miss you," Sergeant Renzulli told his partner as Jamie revealed him his intention not to come back to the precinct.

"Come on, Sarge, it's not like we will never see each other again...," Jamie tried to reason with his sergeant.

"Jamie, if it is because of what happened to you, everyone here is on your side, they have your back!" Renzulli assured the kid.

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure that by now everyone has read my file," Jamie stated.

"Actually, the commissioner had your file sealed and it was only available to the detectives working on your case, which as you probably know was your brother Danny and his partner." Sergeant Renzulli assured Jamie.

"Yeah, but there were other people on the scene, sarge, like forensics ect., besides it was all over the newspapers with some pretty much juicy details," Jamie objected.

"Well, the media will print everything these days," Renzulli muttered angrily.

"Besides, being away for more than a year kind of says everything, doesn't it," Jamie added.

"Kid, a psychopath abducted and tortured you, that's more than enough to leave you with some serious posttraumatic stress, don't you think? No one needs to know more, Jamie!" Renzulli stressed.

"Yeah, but that's the problem, sarge, they kind of do...," the rookie uttered weakly.

"I'm not gonna convince you to stay, am I?" The sergeant asked, but Jamie just shook his head.

"Alright, kid, just be safe!" Sergeant Renzulli told his partner.

"Just one more thing, kid, where you gonna go?" He wanted to know.

"The canine unit," Jamie revealed to Renzulli as his eyes lightened up.

"Wasn't your dad in the canine unit?" Sergeant Renzulli questioned.

"Yes, he was," Jamie replied, giving Renzulli a wide smile.

"Alright then," Renzulli gave in, being happy to see the kid smile again, if it meant he had to let him go, then be it.

**The end**


End file.
